Body Image- You are Beautiful

A topic that is near and dear to my heart is something I struggle with every single day.  It's something that almost everybody has struggled with.  BODY IMAGE.

How you see yourself and your body sets the tone for your day, your week, your month.  I used to struggle with my body image.  I hated what I saw in the mirror and it would depress me.  If you are not happy with yourself, then nothing else matters and trying to improve yourself won't help because you are not in a frame of mind to change anything. 

When wanting to make changes in your life, especially if you want to lose weight, accepting who you are is a critical step.  If you do not love yourself, you won't feel motivated to change.  This is how I felt several years ago.  I hated myself.  I hated my looks, my shape, how I felt, the clothes I wore.  Nothing made me happy at all because I didn't love myself.  It also affected my relationships, especially my marriage and friendships. 

I had a great friend who told me that it was OKAY to love myself no matter what I wanted to change.  She took me shopping and we found an amazing outfit that I looked awesome in!  What a difference a great outfit made.  From that day on, I started to love myself.  Did I love everything about myself?  No way!!  BUT, I started to love myself enough that I wanted to make changes and make myself healthier. 

Loving yourself and who you are RIGHT NOW is the key to motivating yourself to change, if a change is what you need or want. 

Struggling with your body image and learning to love yourself?

Follow some of these steps or ideas and it should help!

1. Spend time in prayer. This is a big one for me. I wake up every morning and spend some time talking to God.  He gives you the power to love yourself and be confident throughout the day.  Rely on HIM to give you the power to pull through whatever it is that has you struggling.  Also realize that He made you in His image. He loves you so much and no matter what you're going through, He will continue to love you.  He wants you to be healthy and one of the first things you can do to be healthy is to love Him and love yourself. 


2.  Find a friend who will give you honest feedback no matter what (even if it's bad) and go shopping.  Find an outfit that makes you feel amazing.  Your friend will help with that.  If you look in the mirror in the dressing room and just feel ugly in the outfit, toss it to the side.  Maybe ask the sales person to help you.  If you go to a department store like Macy's or Dillards, they will help you find the perfect outfit. 

3.  Take that outfit and your friend and go treat yourself to something nice (NOT FOOD related).  Go get a pedicure or a manicure (or both!).  Go to a concert.  Go to the movies.  Go to the mall and strut your stuff in your new outfit.  Get a massage.  Do something that you love with your friend in your new outfit.

4.  Purge the negativity.  This was a big one for me.  Negative thoughts and attitudes are extremely contagious.  If someone doesn't like your new look, ignore them.  Get rid of the negativity in your life.  If you have someone not supporting you now as you work to start loving your body image, they won't support you when you start to lose weight or change your lifestyle or pursue other goals.  Get rid of the negativity in your life.

5.  Surround yourself with positivity.  The opposite of getting rid of those negative people:  surround yourself with people who love you no matter what, honor your wishes to pursue certain goals, and want to see you succeed in loving who you are.  These people will play a critical part in helping you love yourself. 

6.  Wake every day and do one thing that helps you love yourself.  For example, I choose an outfit that makes me feel confident and awesome.  I LOVE wearing skirts.  I found a few that fit me so well and so I bought several.  Then I accessorize. You would be surprised at how much a great accessory can boost your self esteem!  Give it a try and see how it helps.  Find a great pair of earrings or an awesome necklace or purse and you are on your way to feeling more confident than ever!!

7.  Try reading a personal development book on the topic you struggle with.  For example, weight is something I struggle with which directly affects my body image.  Reshaping it All by Candace Cameron Bure has helped me see things in a different light.  I love how she writes.  It feels like she's having a conversation with me.  Another book on my reading list is Made to Crave.  It is a book that will help me focus on craving God instead of food (which is a big problem for me).  So find a book that interests you and read it.  Find a few friends to read it with you!  Then discuss it and how it is impacting your life. 

You are a beautiful person, no matter what.  Find one thing right now that you love about yourself and write it down where you can see it every day- your bathroom mirror, your refrigerator, your phone, computer.  Then every day find one more thing that makes you happy about yourself.  One day you will wake up and realize what everybody else knows:  You are BEAUTIFUL no matter what!!!!!!  Once you realize that, your focus will change from wanting to change yourself because you dislike who you are to now I want to make changes BECAUSE I love myself. 

I'll leave you with this thought:

Just because you might be overweight or have things you want to change about yourself, does not mean you can't love yourself.  Love who you are.  The rest will take care of itself.

How do you keep going when the going is tough?

Has this ever happened in your life?  I know it has in mine!

The scale doesn't cooperate...
The co workers want to eat out and you can't say no because the boss is going...
One beer turns into one beer too many...
The 24 hours that were there turned into not so many...
It's just a tough day, week, month...

So the going is getting tough.  Remember not to focus too much on the past.  The past is behind us.  We are looking forward.

Here are 10 tips I focus on when I'm trying to regain my focus:

1.  Focus on today!  Focus on what you can control right now.  I don't know about you, but I can only handle focusing on what is happening right now.  Even focusing on the whole day seems like a lot.  So take a moment and focus on just what is happening right in this instance.

2.  Try to release the stress and tension.  This isn't helping you focus.  Take a brisk walk.  Exercise.  Go hit a few tennis balls.  Get a massage. 

3.  Reach out for support.  Beachbody coaches provide FREE personal support to help you get back on track.  This type of support is invaluable for me.  My Beachbody coach is amazing and I could not do this without her.  It's one of the reasons I became a Beachbody coach.  So I could help others struggling through the same things I am.  If you are not ready to connect with a Beachbody coach, connect with a friend.  Surround yourself with positive people who are there to support you.

4.  Hold on to hope and gratitude.  Be hopeful that you will pull through this challenging time.  Be grateful for the victories you have already achieved.

5.  Comfort and care for yourself.  Take the time to take care of you!  If you need 15 minutes away from everybody, take that time.  Read a book, close your eyes, take a nap, grab a cup of coffee.  Whatever you need to do to comfort yourself.  Do it!  (But don't use FOOD!)

6.  Know that this struggle is temporary.  No matter what the struggle is, it will hellp you grow and learn.  It is also just temporary.

7.  Let go of what you cannot control.  Just like #1 says to focus on what you can control, do the opposite with the things you cannot control.  You probably cannot control where a group of co workers go for dinner.  You express an opinion, but you don't have the ultimate say so.   BUT you can control what goes in your mouth!  Drink one beer if you must.  Drink only water!  Don't touch the chips at a Mexican restaraunt.  But let go of the things out of your control. 

8.  Commit to a goal.  What do you want to achieve today?  Tomorrow?  This week?  This month?  This year?  Think of what you want to achieve and then commit to it!  It won't happen if you don't commit.

9.  Lean on faith.  God has given you a beautiful body and He wants you to take care of it.  BUT He loves  you no matter what.  Even if you trip up for a night and gobble down a whole tub of ice cream.  He still loves you but lean on the fact that He wants you to take care of your body. 

10.  Allow yourself to dream.  This is my favorite one.  My husband and I settled on the dates for our Hawaiian vacation today.  We leave July 18.  I am dreaming of a sexy me lounging on the beach with a 90 lb weight loss under my belt.  Guess what?  It's not only a dream but a goal!  I can most definitely do it.  It will take a LOT of hard work, but the dream is taking shape. 

Take each of these and ponder what they mean to you during the tough times.  You can do this!  Make a goal, lean on people for support, dream!  You are a beautiful person!

My Story... Out in the Open

This was really hard to write, and post.  But I've been challenged to step out of my comfort zone...  so here it is:

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I am a traveling corporate trainer.  I am on the road about 40-46 weeks out of the year.  I train 8 hours a day, standing on my feet, and then provide support for 8-15 hours a day during a go live process.  We do one of those a month.  I was tired of feeling like I was exhausted at the end of the day with no energy during the day.  I made a few changes in my life.  I hope to encourage you to do the same and make some small changes that will have a huge impact!

My journey began about 15 years ago.  I was about 10 pounds overweight at about 150 and my parents did not want that to escalate.  So they really honed in on my eating habits and tried to keep the junk away from me as much as possible.  Unfortunately, I still found ways to eat it.  Instead of toning up and losing the 10 pounds, I just continued to gain weight.  When I left for college, I did not gain the Freshman 15; instead, I gained more like the Freshman out of control 50 pounds.  As I look back on it now, I can just picture myself wolfing down the fast food and cafeteria food like it was the last thing I was ever going to eat.  Not a good feeling now.

I dated a little bit and dating always made me want to lose a little weight but I didn't know how.  So I just kept eating.  I eventually pushed past the 220- pound mark and all I was wearing were sweat pants or pajamas out in public.  It was disgusting.  I was about 230 when Mike and I got married and from there, I started to control my eating a little bit more but I still did not understand what good eating habits were.  I had a job where I sat all day long and then I would go home and sit some more.  I was rarely active, and it does not help that my hobbies involved sitting too.  When we moved to Washington State five years ago, I was about 270 and I still continued to gain weight.  When I met my good friend, and personal trainer, I was weighing 280.  The heaviest I had ever been in my life.  I was still feeling gross.  But she helped me find a place in my heart and mind where I could accept who I was at the time, but with the knowledge that I was working to change it.  I bought great clothes (just a few) and felt so much better about myself.  This allowed me to concentrate on losing some serious weight.  My friend helped me lose 30 pounds so I was back down to 250.  I felt so good about myself.

Then the scale stopped moving.  I got frustrated with myself, and stopped the healthy eating habits.  I even stopped talking to my friend for a time who had helped me so much.  When we reconnected about six months later, I had gained at least 15 pounds of that 30 back.  So I was back up to about 265.  I was going through a time where I just didn't care.  I didn't care that I was overweight.  I didn't care what I ate.  I just ate and ate and ate.

When Mike and I moved to Louisville in July 2011, I weight in at about 270 again.  I was traveling more with my new job and I kept telling myself that the traveling was what got me.  I couldn't find the time or the money or the creativity to eat healthy on the road.  All excuses.

Then, one day, in February 2012, I snapped.  I was on the road the previous week like always, and I came home.  Mike wanted to go and do something...  don't remember what it was...  tennis or a walk or just shopping.  I was sleeping 11 to 12 hours and waking up not rested.  And I would waste my two days home a week in bed and being lazy.  All of a sudden something clicked inside me.

I weighed myself and to my dismay, I saw the number 290 flash across the screen.  WHAT???  That had to be wrong.  I stepped off the scale and re-weighed myself.  Yup, there it was...  290.  My heaviest I had ever been and VERY quickly approaching 300 pounds.  I was only 10 pounds away!!  I was obese and I hated it.

I called my friend who had helped me lose the 30 pounds three years before, almost in tears.  I begged for her help.  I told her I didn't know what to do but I needed to do it and FAST.  I was 30 years old and almost 300 pounds.  I was so ashamed that I had let myself get so out of control.

She had introduced me to Beachbody and the power of Shakeology a year before that but I was not ready to hear her.  In February, I was.  I didn't care what it took.  I was ready.  So March 1, I started drinking Shakeology.  I replaced one meal with a shake.  And it was so good.  My cravings were limited, and I was feeling more energetic.  Now, when I went home, I was no longer sleeping 12 hours a night and not feeling rested.  I was sleeping 7 to 8 hours a night and waking up so energetic!!!!  What a difference.

On April 4, I started Chalean Extreme.  It is a combination of strength training and cardio and it's a workout I can do in the comfort of my own home.  Wow!  Building muscle helps me so much!!!!

I've also started eating cleaner, less processed food.  I'm feeling so much better and as of July 2012, I'm down 22.5 pounds!!!!!  It's a SLOW process, but this time, I'm NOT giving up.  I have come too far to stop now.

What is on these pages is a story of me.  I'm a work in progress.  I'm in the middle of a drastic lifestyle change and this page is how I document all of it.  I'm so excited that you've read my story and I hope it has encouraged you to let you know it is NOT TOO LATE.  I'm so happy with where I am now, and even more thrilled with where I am going.

Setbacks in Success

I wrote a blog a few weeks ago about measuring success.  It's not always based on the scale and you should see victories in other places. 

Today I want to talk about what happens when you don't succeed, miss out on some goals, and you have setbacks in success. 

Here are some of my thoughts.  I encourage you to post in a comment below some additional thoughts you may have as well.

1.  FORGET THE PAST. 

You cannot change what you did a year ago; you cannot change what you did five minutes ago.  The choices you made then are GONE and done with.

2.  You have the power to make sure the mistakes of yesterday are not repeated in the actions of today.  You have the power of choice.  Choose the strawberry over the licorice.  I promise you will start to see great results when you CHOOSE to make the right decisions. 

3.  The future is in your hands.  When you choose to forgo the huge dish of ice cream and instead choose cut up fruit with Greek yogurt, you are defining your future self. 

And your future self thank you. 



4.  One of the biggest ways to overcome a setback is to determine why the setback happened in the first place so you can make sure it doesn't happen again!!

5.  The last thing I want you to remember is that the setbacks you experience have the power to push you forward if you choose to learn from them.  

My biggest setback occured about four years ago.  I lost 30 pounds with the help of a friend.  For about four weeks, I did not see the scale move at all.  It was frustrating and discouraging.  And I gave up.  Not my finest moment.  Then I fell into a cycle of "I don't care what I eat."  And I gained back the 30 pounds....  PLUS an additional 10.  That is a HUGE setback and one I am not proud of at all.   BUT, I learned from that.  I learned that sometimes the scale does not move but there are other things to be proud of.  I also learned that how I felt then is NOT something I ever want to experience again.  The despair was a horrible feeling.  I felt lost and then when I saw the scale at my heaviest back in February, it clicked.  I needed to try again.  And this time, I am not giving up.  I've since lost 22 1/2 pounds.  I have 17 1/2 more pounds to go before I lose what I gained back.  But it's my setback weight I'm losing.  After that, I'm going to start fresh and really push those eating habits and push my limits with working out. 

As usual, I am ending my post with a CHALLENGE!!!!!  This one might be easy for some but difficult for others. 

Don't purposely suffer through setbacks.  But understand them and use them as a learning experience!!

DO NOT GIVE UP!!!!!!